preserved_ginger: (DW: The Doctor's Rose)
preserved_ginger ([personal profile] preserved_ginger) wrote2008-02-16 02:57 pm

By Thy Great Mercy?

Title: By Thy Great Mercy?
Character(s): Ten. Rose mentioned throughout.
Pairing(s): Ten/Rose
Rating: PG-13
Beta(s): [livejournal.com profile] karenor and [livejournal.com profile] requialexa
Spoilers: Doomsday
Setting: After the wall scene, but just before the beach scene.
A/N: The title, and inspiration, for this ficlet comes from the Anglican service of Evensong (The Third Collect, for Aid against all Perils: “Lighten our Darkness”); the text of the cut is dialogue from Doomsday. The quote at the beginning of the fic is the Doctor, from School Reunion.
Posted: [livejournal.com profile] dwfiction, [livejournal.com profile] oh_she_knows, and [livejournal.com profile] time_and_chips
Summary: He knew he couldn't do it.

I used to have so much mercy.

As a different man, long ago. For some reason he can't fathom, even though the human race has stolen her away from him for ever in a moment of sheer idiocy that was probably the single most stupid thing humanity had ever managed to do, he's still investing his time and his emotional energy defending this same human race from the perils and dangers of the night.

Why should I bother? She's gone. My beautiful girl is gone, thanks to these fine outstanding members of the human race. Why is it always me?  Always me that has to deal with the mess that someone else has left behind? Because just now, I don't want to.  Right now, I don't want to do anything except figure out a way to get her back.  Nothing else matters.

He wasn't over that, over her. He didn't think he ever would be. All he could hope for was that the agony might ease with time (and if there was anything he had in abundance, it was time), and that he would be able to rein in the increasingly alarming urge he had to make everybody else endure the same pain he had done. Why should they escape scot-free? Why did he have to lose his Rose and not one of them?  Why?

His longing to see her again, the relentless ache to be with her just one last time, had driven him to search for months upon months, to the point of madness (and arguably beyond), to find even a small gap in the universes in order to permit him to go through – to touch her and hold her, for a little while, even if it was too dangerous to take her back with him.

Colourful words, old and ancient curses in a language none save he spoke any longer echoed around the console room when it dawned upon him that he wouldn't even have that. He yelled out in agonised frustration. All he wanted was to touch her, if he had to say good-bye, for Chaos' sake; why could he not even have that?

He couldn't go through properly, no matter how much he wanted to (and oh, how he wanted to; there was little else, by that stage, he wanted more), for fear of risking two universes. It was killing him to admit it but, much as he might think that she (the love of all his lives) was worth that risk – he knew he couldn't do it.


themusecalliope: Vulpes Vulpes (RoseArt)

[personal profile] themusecalliope 2008-02-18 07:39 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, ow. Poor Doctor.

Once again, well done.

[identity profile] rjrog77.livejournal.com 2008-02-25 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)

Oh, ow. Poor Doctor.

I know; *hugs him*

Once again, well done.

Thanks.