preserved_ginger | Never Say "Never Ever" (2/?)

Title: Never Say "Never Ever" (2/?)
Character(s): Ten, Rose, drive-by mention of Pete and Mickey
Pairing(s): Ten/Rose
Rating: PG-13
Beta(s):

karenor and

requialexa
Disclaimer: I am not the BBC!
A/N: It's been a while, but finally here's an update. Vaguely fluffy, vaguely angsty, this is the reunion!fic I never thought I'd write. The title comes from the Doctor's comment to Rose at the end of Fear Her.
Dedication: For

requialexa, for all her hard work - and for poking and prodding me to complete this second chapter :D
Summary: “You've never lied to me before about anything important and you wouldn't start here, not about this.”

Chapter One: The Dance.

“You told me that I could never see you again. Why did you lie to me?” Her voice broke on the last word and she swallowed hard, determined not to let herself cry in front of him. She needed to hear his answer—and how he had done the ‘impossible’. The next thing out of her mouth was harsher than she'd meant it to be (she wasn't angry, just emotional, and she had never been good at staying calm when she was emotional), but she was rapidly losing the battle against the tears at this stage.

“Why?”

"Rose, I …" the Doctor began to stutter, his voice cracking as much as hers had done, and he felt the clouded, caged expression drift back into his eyes as if he could see it himself; his long-held, long-hated inferiority complex was putting its hated walls up. Again. He looked at her helplessly, feeling the familiar waves of shame and loneliness wash over him. Her expression softened as she looked at him, leaving him with some hope that his re-appearance had not upset her as much as he feared. And then she started talking.

"Oh, God. I didn't mean I wasn't happy to see you," she started babbling (one vaguely positive thing, at least, I managed to leave with you) as her words ran into each other in their desperation to get out, "never that. I promised you, I promised, that I was never gonna leave you; that bloody well means now, too." The words were falling over themselves as she desperately tried to cheer him up — even though she cheered him simply by being there. He wondered whether she could sense the melancholy that he felt shrouded him, wondered whether it was as potent as he had always feared it was. Oh, Rose.

"I didn't mean to say you lied," Rose continued, "honestly I didn't, but you said I could never —" she stopped abruptly for a second and he looked sharply at her; she swallowed, hard, before picking up again. "— never see you again, and yet here you are. What else was I supposed to think?" Freeing one of her hands with an effort that indicated he was holding too tightly, she used it to gently run her fingers along his cheek as she paused for breath and he whispered her name.

"Doctor," Rose continued in a far gentler tone, "what I told you on that beach that day is still true. It will always be true; I won't ever stop loving you, Doctor, so please don't start expecting me to."

"I didn't lie, Rose," he blurted out, as anxious as she had seemed to get the whole situation sorted out quickly so that they could just be together. "I didn't think I could come back, not at the time anyway, and I couldn't have lived with myself afterwards if I'd given you false hope that I'd come back for you." (For you, Rose. Never "to" you; always, always for you.)

"I know you didn't. Even when I was saying it, I knew it couldn't be true. You've never lied to me before about anything important and you wouldn't start here, not about this. Not about us."

Rose's voice faltered there and her tone had made it sound more of a question than a statement. As if she wanted to believe that it was true but knew there was no way she could be certain. He had her back, that was the most important thing; everything else was secondary to that. You may think I've not lied to you; but please, please don't ask me about Jack. Not now.

He loved her very much (he suspected he loved her too much), and he wanted to have her all to himself for a little while. It's been so long. He felt an absolute heel for thinking it, but everything else would have to wait. Rose right now was his only focus. It was selfish. But just now, he couldn't give a damn about anything or anyone else.

"Oh, Rose," he said, and the sadness in his voice was obvious even to him (he just hoped that Rose wouldn't cop to it too quickly; he prayed to any deities that might be in earshot not to let him weep. Not here. Not now), "I'm not the perfect person you seem to think I am."

He saw Rose visibly soften; the next words out of her mouth were in the soft and tender tone she had used to speak to him back in the old days, back before Canary Wharf, and his mind stopped screaming at him quite so loudly. Maybe she did still love him after all this time. Maybe, just maybe …

"Doctor," she said (and he closed his eyes, hoping for good news but steeling himself against bad), "you still don't get it, do you? I never wanted 'perfect'. I only ever wanted you."

"Really?" He hated how needy he sounded; for all the world like a bewildered boy who couldn't quite believe what his ears were telling him. He could hardly breathe. It couldn't really be true, could it? He must have been projecting more than usual, because Rose seemed to pick up on it; the expression in her eyes changed again, this time to one that was soft and tender. Oh Rose. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?

"Really."

He did not deserve to be so cherished. He had done so very many things he wanted to tell her about, eventually, so there'd be no secrets between them. Things that had made him completely unlovable. Things that made him feel worthless. Yet here was Rose, his Rose, standing there and telling him that she loved him. He didn't deserve her, really he didn't.

They had stopped dancing by now, and were standing by a wall completely rapt in each other. Mickey and Pete were in the Doctor's line of sight (if well out of earshot), but it no longer bothered him — not that it ever really had, — who was around to see. As far as he was concerned, the only person whose reactions he was even slightly interested in was standing right there in front of him.

"Rose Tyler," he began — but before he was able to continue, he heard her mutter something that sounded a hell of a lot like "oh no you don't. you're not doing that to me again!" and the next thing he knew she had pulled him down to her and had kissed him full on the lips. He froze for a second or two, more from the surprise than anything else; this reaction seemed to make Rose think that she had made a terrible mistake, and she had started to move her lips away from his. Oh no, you don't; not again.

He made a noise at the back of his throat, somewhere between a moan and a growl; why have you stopped? He slid a hand into her hair, threading his fingers through it, and started kissing her back with enthusiasm whilst using his other hand to pull her body even closer to his. He had always been absolutely rubbish at denying Rose what she wanted; why would he choose now to be any different?

The hand Rose had used to caress his cheek had finally made it into his hair and the other one was on his hip. He revelled in being so close to her; would have made more of an effort to touch her skin, but they were still very much in public; he used his tongue, instead, to lick along her bottom lip in supplication. Please let me in, he begged — without having to utter a word. Her mouth opened just enough for him to slide in and deepen the kiss and then the last tattered remnants of the outside world still on his radar disappeared as he became lost in Rose.

Don't ever leave me, Rose; I can't lose you again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The words were falling over themselves as she desperately tried to cheer him up — even though she cheered him simply by being there. He wondered whether she could sense the melancholy that he felt shrouded him, wondered whether it was as potent as he had always feared it was. Oh, Rose.

I love the slow pace of this, and you capture his vulnerability so well. It's beautiful.

I love the slow pace of this, and you capture his vulnerability so well.

It's all because of that inferiority complex of his – plus a healthy dose of survivor's guilt from the Time War – and he just doesn't believe he deserves it.

It's beautiful.

Thank you :)

A kiss! And what a kiss! Brilliant! I really can't wait for next part!

He's been waiting so long for her, I thought a kiss was only fair :D

Yay!! Love this fic. Absolutely brilliant. Hope there's more to come soon!

Thank you, I'm glad you like this :)

(There is more planned, I promise.)

What a beautiful chapter! I do hope you write more to this. This is the type of angst I love. Personal turmoil, that doesn't cause the characters to push each other away, but instead draws them closer. Wonderful piece.

What a beautiful chapter! I do hope you write more to this.

Thank you! More is planned; hopefully it won't take so long for me to update next time (I'm something of a perfectionist with fic, though; that's the problem!)

This is the type of angst I love. Personal turmoil, that doesn't cause the characters to push each other away, but instead draws them closer.

I don't think anything could pull these two apart, y'know; if even their being in two different universes hasn't managed it, what could?

Fantastic. Heart-wrenching and lovely.

And, may I say, I love that you put a tiny recap of the previous chapter at the beginning. I read so many wip fics that I tend to sometimes forget which is which and what happened in earlier chapters.

Just wanted to say, first off, that I absolutely love that icon.

Fantastic. Heart-wrenching and lovely.

'Course 'tis heart-wrenching; what Ten and Rose reunion would go any other way?

And, may I say, I love that you put a tiny recap of the previous chapter at the beginning. I read so many wip fics that I tend to sometimes forget which is which and what happened in earlier chapters.

Y'mean it saves you having to go read the entire previous chapter over again? ;)

(I think a recap is a good idea with multi-parters, for the writer as well as the reader, by the way.)

He felt an absolute heel for thinking it, but everything else would have to wait. Rose right now was his only focus. It was selfish. But just now, he couldn't give a damn about anything or anyone else.

Doctor, I don't even think Jack would deny you that! Lovely chapter, and the kiss at the end was fantastic. ;)

Doctor, I don't even think Jack would deny you that!

I know this, you know this, but the poor aul' Doctor is still under the impression that he can't have any time for himself as he has to spend so much of it saving the rest of the universe, methinks.

Lovely chapter, and the kiss at the end was fantastic. ;)

You can never have too many Ten/Rose kisses ;)

Glad you like this; hopefully the next update won't take me so damn long ;D

My eyes are filling up and *I'm* trying not to cry. There's nothing hugely dramatic going on here - it's just simply beautiful. If only it could be so.

Who needs drama when you have the reunion of two who ought never to have been parted in the first place?

*pets them both*

I'm so pleased you like this :D

So very beautiful.

Thank you :D

Never Say "Never Ever" (2/?)

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