Storm Clouds Lightening

[preserved_ginger]

Title: Storm Clouds Lightening
Rating: PG
Character(s): The Doctor, Rose
Pairing: Doctor/Rose
Beta: glory_jean
Spoilers: None
Notes: AU from Doomsday, and following on from Storm Winds Blowing, this is an A Storm Is Coming story.
Summary: After the silence comes the reckoning.

The first few minutes or so seem to him to last for hours, even though he knows that isn’t possible. But he seems to be frozen to the floor after he realises that not only has the mouth of the Void closed but Rose – who he’d been so sure would end up trapped there with the Daleks and the Cybermen, a fate worse than death that he really didn’t want to think about – is still here, in her own universe, with him. Still, as soon as he can make his body move, he is running over to Rose, pulling her into the tightest hug he has ever given her. He can’t quite believe that the universe has decided to be this kind to him.

He holds her to him for a short while, revelling in the fact that this time, she lives – but she’s lost her mother, and he feels guilty for feeling so happy that she’s still here with him. He wonders how soon it’ll be before it hits her that she’ll never see Jackie again. Although he knows he needs to get them out of here before anything else happens (he’s not in the mood for long explanations, for a start, which is what will happen if they’re still here when the first rescuers reach Canary Wharf) he is hesitant to move her.

She pulls away from his arms then. He has to force himself not to react the way he longs to, wanting to promise her anything and everything, but lets her do what she needs to do. And, when what she needs to do turns out to be slamming her hands against that white wall while tears of raw grief stream down her face, it takes him everything he has to stop himself from going to her and wrapping her in his arms. Even then, he lasts barely a few seconds before he's reaching for her.

Just before he pulls her to him, she seems to sense his presence and practically throws herself at him. He reacts by pulling her into another hug and rocking her to and fro in his arms, telling her that everything is going to be all right.

It’s a lie, of course, but what else can he do?

They stay that way for a long while, their arms around each other, him comforting her as the storm of first grief goes through her. Time is of the essence, but he refuses to leave her even for a minute at this stage; she’s too raw and his need to comfort her is stronger than his need to be out of there. The flow of tears eases, eventually, and Rose leans against his chest, clutching his suit jacket with one hand and wiping the tears from her eyes with the other, still sobbing quietly.

It's a full hour and a half after the Void closes before they arrive back in the TARDIS. Rose has closed herself off from him and he is deeply, deeply worried about her mental state. He puts the TARDIS in the Vortex, the one place he is absolutely certain they are safe from everything, and then he takes Rose to his bedroom and puts her in his bed. His room is larger than hers, he tells himself. In truth, there’s no way he’s about to leave her, not when he’s this worried about her – not that she seems inclined to let him out of reach at the moment anyway. He lays her down on the mattress and curls himself around her, pulling the covers up over both of them before encouraging her through whispers and caresses to sleep. Sleep is the best cure for what ails her, he knows.

It takes him quite a while – days, he thinks, although in the TARDIS it’s difficult to gauge the passing of time correctly – to figure out how to get a message through the void to Jackie to let her know that her daughter is all right. The TARDIS remains in the Vortex, because he knows that the one thing he can do for Rose is to let her be somewhere she feels safe, although he spends a good deal of time refusing to let her out of his sight.

The two of them slide in to a routine of sorts over those few days. Starting with a shower in the morning – together, as has been the case for months now. Physical intimacy isn’t an issue right now (she’s in shock, still, and he would never take advantage of her while she’s like that), more their absolute inability to be apart from each other at all. Breakfast follows, where he cajoles her into eating by tempting her with all her favourite foods and pretending not to be worried in the slightest that she doesn’t want to eat any of them. Then it’s either to the console room (where she sits on the captain’s chair, with a blanket tucked around her, while he types into the console computer) or the library (where he sits beside her, with one of his arms wrapped around her, while he studies old texts and books from his long-gone race, trying to find answers to this latest dilemma). Lunch follows much the same pattern as breakfast, and then it’s the console room or library again until dinner. Dinner is swiftly over when neither of them are inclined to eat a thing. Afterwards, it’s back to his room for bed as she is exhausted by then – mentally, if not physically – but still can’t bear to let him out of her sight.

He wonders if she thinks she’ll lose him, too, if she lets go of him.

He is doing his level best to anticipate her needs – food, warmth, company – without her having to ask. He knows from experience how frighteningly lonely it can be when you’ve been ripped from everything you’ve known with no chance of going back. The Time War isn’t the same thing as the Battle of Canary Wharf, of course, but it’s close enough for him to suspect he knows what’s going through her head. Having been through it himself he knows what to expect, and so he can help her. At least, he can a little – which isn’t enough, he knows, but it’s much, much better than nothing..

He finds the gap through the Void; too small for the TARDIS to pass through safely, but large enough to send a holographic projection. But when he helps Rose with what she needs to do to get her mother to the place where the walls between the universes are at their thinnest, he realises that what they’ve all been through so far is nothing compared to what is to come.

But he’ll help her through it, every step of the way.

Comments

[helygen.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. This is tense and bleak and so, so tender. I love it :)

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

This is tense and bleak and so, so tender.

I think it’d have been fairly similar to this in reality, had it happened. He just isn’t the type to sit back and let her suffer when it’s demonstrably obvious that somebody he has feelings for is hurting that badly.

If you like this, you should like the next one in the set (the one dealing with Norway), which should be coming soon.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

I'm very much looking forward to the next one :)

[beauty-within16.livejournal.com]

I loved it! I could picture that happening if The Doctor and Rose didn't get separated at the end of Doomsday.

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

I could picture that happening if The Doctor and Rose didn't get separated at the end of Doomsday.

I think so too. It’s been demonstrated that he loves Rose on numerous occasions before this and he’s been protective of her – why would he not seek to comfort her as much as possible after something like this?

[glory_jean]

Although (had BP stayed on DW) we would have never seen this onscreen, you know Rose would have been a devastated to lose her mother. While, I don't think she would regret her choice, it was a no win situation for her: she would lose someone she loved regardless. Despite knowing her mother is alive somewhere, it's still a loss. It's like death in that she will not see her mother again.

I like the way that has been explored in this fic.

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about the choice she made. Someone who says “I made my choice a long time ago, and I’m never gonna leave you” (emphasis mine) is unlikely to regret anything, if it means being able to keep that promise.

That said, I still think she’d have been grieving for effectively losing her mother – and, like you say, that would have been very much as if Jackie had died.

It makes me wonder if I should go back to the pair in the TARDIS after the next piece I have planned in this series, which you’ve already kindly beta-read for me, and examine that conversation from their POV.

What do you reckon?

[glory_jean]

I think that would be interesting to see. As of now there's no clear resolution on side that side of things.

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

Let’s see what the plot-bunnies bring, then, shall we? ;D