Doctor (Ten/Rose, PG, 1/1)

[preserved_ginger]

Title: Doctor
Rating: PG
Characters: Donna Noble (cameo), Rose Tyler, The Doctor, The Duplicate Doctor (aka ‘the Other’)
Pairings: Ten/Rose
Disclaimer: Regrettably, I am not the BBC.
Thanks to: glory_jean for excellent beta-work and cheer-leading (thank you so much!)
Author's Note: Journey’s End. But not. The first in the The Doctor-Donna set.
Summary: She’s not about to let him get away with it.

It’s as natural as breathing to kiss him, the Other, once he says he loves her. She thinks it may well be the nearest she’ll ever get to hearing it from his lips, and kissing this carbon-copy of him could possibly be the closest she’ll ever get to that, too.

Something makes her pull away, though, just in time to see the Doctor, the one she’s spent so long fighting to get back to, start to walk away from her and back to the TARDIS with Donna – and it’s like a bucket of water over her. The realisation of what he’s about to do stuns her.

Oh no you don’t. You’re not doing that to me again.

“I —” She looks at the Other in the blue suit – why had nobody told him that blue was not his colour? – and she knows she can’t begin to apologise enough for what she’s about to do to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I wish this could be different – that I could stay – but I can’t.”

“Rose?”

He sounds confused, and hurt, and the guilt for what she’s doing would crush her if she let it, but she can’t. There’s no time to think of it because she has to catch the Doctor before he abandons her here with a man who looks and sounds like him but who isn’t him, not really. Not in the ways she wants and needs him to be.

“Rose!”

He calls after her, but she ignores him – as she knows she must. The knowledge of what she’s done is hard, and she feels terrible, but if this is the only chance she’ll ever have to put right what went wrong at Canary Wharf, she knows she has to carry on. For once in her life, she has the courage of her conviction, is making decisions that she knows will change everything. It – that conviction, that unswerving belief that what she’s doing is right – will have to be enough. He cries out to her again and the obvious, real pain in his voice slashes deeply at her, but she’s closed her ears and her heart to him now.

She’s made her choice.

It makes her more like him than she’s ever been. Her mother has made pointed remarks on this subject on more than one occasion, but she’s shrugged them off because (even if it is her mother she’s talking about) she doesn’t care what anybody else thinks about the Doctor. And it’s because of how similar to him she’s become that that she thinks she knows what he’s trying to do. But the thought becomes blurred as she starts running – because she knows there’s no time to waste – and she catches up with her Doctor just as he is half-way through the TARDIS doors. She lunges for him and catches hold of his arm, stopping him from going any further forward.

“Rose?”

His voice pitches slightly higher than usual and she can hear the hint, just a hint, of disbelieving hope hidden beneath. He moves her hand from his arm and the two of them continue on into the TARDIS; he tries to embrace her, but she evades him. Although she is furious with him, when she sees a hurt look (that he doesn’t conceal quickly enough) cross his face, there’s nevertheless a twinge of something that feels a lot like guilt. She smothers it, trying not to let it visibly affect her, knowing that he’ll use it to his advantage. It’s part of who he is.

“Rose?” His voice is softer now and closer to its usual pitch ... and is that relief that she can hear in it? Is he relieved that she’s seen through his – admittedly rather brilliant, if she does say so herself – attempt at chicanery? She decides to find out. For once, the direct approach might be the best way of dealing with things.

“‘You can spend the rest of your life with me’, you said.” She laughs, but it’s not a pleasant sound and he winces at it. “Not going to leave me behind like you did Sarah Jane, you said. Forgive me, Doctor,” she practically spits the word, her temper rising, “but it doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing.”

“But I haven’t left you,” he protests dumbly, pointing over to where his Doppelgänger stands looking back at them. “I’m right there.”

“Save it,” she snaps, trying to hold on to what remains of her temper and finding it more difficult to do than she’d thought. “We both know, don’t we, that he isn’t really you – yes, he looks like you and talks like you, but in the ways that matter he isn’t — what are you doing?”

She tails off her rant, biting down on her anger and forcing it down, as she sees him moving towards the console.

“What does it look like?” His voice has an defensive edge to it now, almost as if he’s willing her to challenge him. “I told you, out there. This reality’s sealing itself off, for ever. If I don’t go now, I’ll never make it back.”

“You were going to leave me there, without even saying good-bye?”

He says nothing, but continues with the dematerialisation sequence she knows so well. Soon all that’s left to do is for him to pull the handbrake and they’ll be gone, but his hand hesitates. He looks up, and even through her own anger she can see his pain: he’s broadcasting it so clearly it’s impossible to ignore.

“Rose —” It’s been a long time since anybody’s said her name like that, wrapping love and longing in it together with so much pain it surprises her he’s still standing. “Rose, it’s up to you. You can stay here, if you want; with your mum, and Pete ... and him.”

Still giving her a choice, still assuming she doesn’t want to stay with him. Still trying to make your decisions for you, her subconscious tries to goad her, but she’s only half-listening. She wonders what it will take to get him to believe she loves him – but right now, all that matters is getting him to believe that she wants to stay.

“But he isn’t you, is he?”

He doesn’t say anything and he can’t look at her. Answer enough, she thinks, and continues.

“I can’t stay here with him, Doctor. I can’t. How can I stay with somebody who has your memories, copied across like you’d do with a computer file, but who hasn’t lived any of them? How can I leave you when I promised I never would?”

“But your mother ...”

“Knows exactly what I was planning to do when I found you again.” Her voice wobbles, but he pretends not to notice and it gives her the strength she needs to finish. “She doesn’t like it much, but she accepts it. She has Pete, and Tony: she’s fine.”

He nods, and pulls the handbrake – and she knows she’s won. The Doctor has let her have what she wants, seemingly against his better judgement. But it hasn’t been pretty – and the guilt for what she’s done to the Other, as well as the anger she still feels towards the Doctor mean she’s not as exultant as she might otherwise have been. He sees something in her face and offers her his hand: she takes it and lets him pull her into a crushing embrace.

All is silent for a few minutes, save for the normal noise of the TARDIS. And then Donna, who has been quietly standing watching the drama play out before her, speaks.

“I thought we could try the planet Felspoon next,” she says in a conversational tone completely at odds with the mood of the others around her. “Just ’cause. What a good name, ‘Felspoon’. Apparently, it’s got mountains that sway in the breeze.”

She’s sure she doesn’t imagine the terrible sadness in the Doctor’s eyes as he looks steadily at Donna – but how can this be bad? Donna talks on, oblivious to everything.

“Mountains that move. Can you imagine?”

Comments

[sporkyoracle.livejournal.com]

thus far my absolute favorite JE fix-it! thank you!

[nurse-stiney.livejournal.com]

That's...so cold. :( I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Rose just leaving Ten II like that...but I do look forward to where you're going with this!

[emerald-soleil.livejournal.com]

It's kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Either way, a Doctor ends up alone. And I don't think Human!Ten would handle that very well. Which would make a lovely, dark, angsty sequel, wouldn't it?

[lizardlicks.livejournal.com]

Definitely an interesting take. We'll have to see where this goes.

(And Sporkyoracle's icon is freaking me out)

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

Not the kindest way to leave Ten II, but what else could she do? Ten I was hightailing it. Kinda his fault.

why had nobody told him that blue was not his colour?

::Sporfle:: <3

[effulgent-girl.livejournal.com]

Ooh, me likies:) Lovely idea.

[danaems.livejournal.com]

I love this! I'm glad that Rose chose to go with Ten and Donna. Though I have to admit I feel sorry for Ten II. Now, I'm hoping that Rose can help Donna stay in the TARDIS with them and not become like she did at the end of Journey's End.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

On first reading, I found this a bit disturbing: I couldn't handle Rose's attitude to the blue-suited Doctor, because I didn't think she'd be that lacking in compassion.

However on second reading, I agree that of course she would do that, had she been given the opportunity (or not been so distracted by the kiss). The Doctor in the TARDIS is the one she loves, and she'd do anything - and, more importantly, abandon those she loves - to be with him.

I love the fact that the Doctor gives her the choice, though, once he's realised her intention, to stay in Pete's world. He's learning ;)

Now I'm wondering what will happen with Donna, now that Rose is there ....

[starmalachite.livejournal.com]

a man who looks and sounds like him but who isn’t him, not really. Not in the ways she wants and needs him to be.

YES. THIS. And that's precisely why JE was *not* a happy ending but a setup for tragedy. It could never have ended well. (And I've been more than a little astonished and appalled at fandom's massive outpouring of facile Harlequin novel versions of Rose & Other 10's future lives that blithely ignore all the massive issues inherent in the canon version.)

Yes, it sucks to be Other 10. But it always would have, & I suspect he'll end up better off than if he & Rose had tried to stay together out of inertia & obligation. The fact that Rose didn't even think to grab his hand & yank him back into the Tardis with her says everything there is to say about how well that would have worked.

She wonders what it will take to get him to believe she loves him.

Warts & all. Especially since most of them are hers too.

Thanks for this, and for restoring the *real* Rose (as opposed to that walking plot contrivance in SE & JE) to where she belongs. The next order of business is obviously Donna. I look forward to seeing what you do with her, Proper 10, & Rose next.

[gftaz.livejournal.com]

very dark, i love it.

It's weird how a lot of people don't see the Doctor stranding Rose on the parallel world with the "other him" as a bad thing. It would be a total disaster! But that's why we have people like you who set the story straight.

Looking forward to your next bit.

[okelay.livejournal.com]

Huh. interesting. I definitely want to see where you're going. I like the idea of the Doctor,Rose and Donna,though I feel bad for Ten II. left alone with Jackie of all people.

[asahifirsa.livejournal.com]

Isn't it strange how pretty much every Snow Patrol seems to fit the Doctor and Rose? That was quite heart-breaking, but that's how it's supposed to be to work. Look at Doomsday! Really looking forward to how this spins out.