Never Say "Never Ever" (1/?)

[preserved_ginger]

Title: Never Say "Never Ever" (1/?)
Character(s): Ten, Rose, cameos by Pete and Mickey
Pairing(s): Ten/Rose
Rating: PG
Beta: principia_coh
Disclaimer: Borrowed, without permission.
A/N: Vaguely fluffy, vaguely angsty, this is the reunion!fic I never thought I'd write. The title comes from the Doctor's comment to Rose at the end of Fear Her.
Summary: Just because he said it was impossible doesn't mean it is.

When the Doctor finally came back, proving yet again in that irrepressible way of his way of his that for him the impossible rarely held fast or held true, he saw her before she saw him.

It was the Torchwood Christmas Ball. Rose was there under duress (she'd learned soon after she joined that it was one of those events that everyone was expected to attend, unless they were too sick to leave their beds; she'd tried her best to talk her 'father' into letting her stay at home, even getting her mother to plead her case, but Pete hadn't listened to her and so here she was). They hadn't been there long, and were fairly close to the entrance still—in sight of the door, even. But as it happened, just as the Doctor walked through the door, Rose had turned away for a few seconds to speak to Pete.

(She had tried calling him ‘Dad,’ mostly to please her mother, but the endearment had never seemed to fit. A bit like the Doctor and the word ‘fantastic’ after he regenerated, she had thought, remembering that time.)

And so it was Mickey, ever-faithful Mickey, who was the only one of the trio to see the Doctor enter the room. Catching the Doctor’s eye, he motioned him over to them without saying a word; not wanting to spoil the surprise (and not sure he could keep the smile from his face for too much longer), Mickey mumbled something to Rose about going to get a drink and moved away The Doctor started moving towards them after nodding an acknowledgment to Mickey, his eyes locked on Rose.

He had been without her so long that he could not have stopped looking at her now even if he had wanted to. There were a few trials for him on his way over to them—he trod on more than one foot (and so had to dodge return shoves and darting bodies). But he reached the Tyler group eventually, and listened quietly to the conversation that was going on.

“So, Rose, do you fancy a dance?” Pete Tyler smiled down at her. “You can't just stand there all night.”

“Oh, can't I? You just watch me!”

Rose’s voice was full of suppressed laughter that took any sting out of the words. Her eyes danced with merriment as Pete grinned at her, not upset in the slightest.

“So, will you?”

“I—”

She got no further before a heartbreakingly familiar voice that she had long ago forced herself to accept that she would never hear again cut in:

“I rather think,” the Doctor said, in that nonchalant way of his that had been one of the things that she had missed most about him, “that this dance is mine. Don't you, Rose Tyler?”

She stood there in a state of shock, unable to believe it was him. OK, it looked like him (same face, same eyes, same incorrigibly untidy hair), but this person was wearing a shockingly ugly blue suit. Her Doctor always, always wore a lovely brown one. Was this another one of those illusions, sent to torture her? She had had so many of them, when she'd first arrived here; hallucinations that were so real it broke her every single time she’d realised they weren't. She couldn't bear it if this was another one now, so long after she had begun to heal again.

The Doctor held his hand out to her, as he had done years ago when he had first asked her to travel with him. She looked into his eyes—in him, always much more the fabled “windows into the soul” than with other people she knew—and saw shining there the abiding love for her that she knew now had always been there before. She had half-feared it might have taken his sanity with it when she had been torn from him, but his eyes were bright and clear.

The hope that something might still come of the love they shared had been the one thing that had sustained her in this looking-glass world, and she was glad beyond measure to see that yes, he was here, and yes, he still loved her. Maybe, now that he had done what he'd proclaimed ‘impossible’ (again; she was going to have words with him about that one), she would actually hear him put the feeling into words. That is, if this “Doctor” in front of her was real.

She hesitated, hating the clouded expression that came into his eyes at her visible doubt (hating herself even more for putting it there); but she had to be sure. Anyone or anything that knew her history would know this was the once face that would always get to her.

It was Mickey, a truer friend to her than she had ever deserved, who broke the deadlock.

“Rose—you’ve been waiting for him to come back for donkey's years, and now here he is and you’re just standing there? What’s wrong with you? And how did you get in here, Doctor, anyway? It's an invitation-only ...” Mickey's voice trailed away as the Doctor waved his psychic paper at him, smirking slightly, his eyes never leaving Rose’s face.

When Mickey turned to look at Rose, he finally understood the meaning of the expression “like a deer in headlights”—it described the look on her face to perfection. He could see the disbelief—and yet at the same time, bursts of painful, desperate hope—in her eyes. Was it him? Was it finally, finally him?

“You can see him?”

“Of course I can see him. I saw him before you did!”

Mickey was about to say something else, but it did not matter; her oldest friend’s first comment had been all that Rose needed. She stepped forward towards the Doctor, her eyes locked on his, until she was close enough to touch him. Being only his friend, though, after the declaration she’d made to him on that beach so long ago, would no longer be enough. Just holding his hand, going back to where they were then, was not enough and both of them knew it. So when she reached up past his outstretched hand to touch his cheek with her fingers, neither of them was remotely surprised.

The clouded expression left his face and was replaced by the infinitely more familiar sparkling eyes and somewhat manic grin. He could not keep his eyes off her, did not want to miss a minute of this future he had been so sure he couldn’t have, but when she moved her hand so that her palm cupped his cheek he let his eyes close as he allowed himself to savour the sensation of her skin on his.

Oh, he’d wasted so much time, so many opportunities to treasure Rose as he always should have done. But now he had a second chance—him, the ‘no second chances’ sort of a man—and for once in his miserable existence he was going to do what he had to do to make sure that he didn’t screw it up.

He breathed her name as he re-opened his eyes, and brought his hand up to hold hers against his cheek so that he could move his head and brush the lightest of kisses on her palm.

“Come dance with me?” His voice was wistful as he smiled down at her. Rose took the hint that he wanted her to himself for a while (some things never change, she thought) and allowed him to draw her onto the dance floor. Luckily enough, the music currently playing was a slow and vaguely romantic piece (not Glen Miller's In the Mood, sadly. Miller had never written that song in this universe), but for the two of them it would hardly have mattered whatever kind of music it had been. As they started to move around the floor, they had eyes for no-one but each other.

“You told me…” Rose’s voice started to wobble, much to her dismay; she stopped talking for a second to compose herself and started again. “You told me that I could never see you again. Why did you lie to me?” Her voice broke on the last word and she swallowed hard, determined not to let herself cry in front of him. She needed to hear his answer—and how he had done the ‘impossible’. The next thing out of her mouth was harsher than she'd meant it to be (she wasn't angry, just emotional, and she had never been good at staying calm when she was emotional) but she was rapidly losing the battle against the tears at this stage.

“Why?”

Comments

[hockeygoon08.livejournal.com]

Good stuff. Just maybe a slight nitpick? Did you really mean Glen Millers "In the Mood"..as that's a pretty fast piece of music. Did you actually mean Moonlight Serenade?

Very well written piece!

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

Did you really mean Glen Millers "In the Mood"..as that's a pretty fast piece of music.

Nope, definitely meant In the Mood, as I seem to recall that being linked with Nine.

Very well written piece!

Thanks! :)

[hockeygoon08.livejournal.com]

Interesting, though I remember Rose and Jack dancing to Moolight, on the top of his ship in front of Big Ben...maybe that's what I was thinking of.

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

Interesting, though I remember Rose and Jack dancing to Moolight, on the top of his ship in front of Big Ben...maybe that's what I was thinking of.

(Next time I'm gonna reference Nine I think I should check my S1 eps first!)

I'm almost certain In the Mood is linked with Nine, although that may just be fanon.

[io-aenaria.livejournal.com]

No, you're right, In The Mood is the scene at the very end of The Doctor Dances, the fast swing dance in the TARDIS. Moonlight Serenade is what's playing when Rose and Jack are dancing on top of the spaceship. :)

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

Oh more, more, more, please!

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

Oh more, more, more, please!

There'll be more just as soon as I've written it (you don't think I'm letting the Doctor get away without telling Rose he loves her, d'you?).

[catsfiction.livejournal.com]

It's lovely to see you try a reunion. They're quite difficult aren't they?

I did love this - I could see him so clearly:

She looked into his eyes—in him, always much more the fabled “windows into the soul” than with other people she knew—and saw shining there the abiding love for her that she knew now had always been there before.

It just felt a bit unfinished, so I hope you do a bit more!

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

It's lovely to see you try a reunion. They're quite difficult aren't they?

They are indeed; the only reason I'm doing it at all is because the damn plot-bunny wouldn't let me be until I did!

I did love this - I could see him so clearly: "She looked into his eyes—in him, always much more the fabled “windows into the soul” than with other people she knew—and saw shining there the abiding love for her that she knew now had always been there before."

You're right, it pretty much sums him up; this and the 'looking-glass' motif (borrowed from Lewis Carroll) are some of my most favourite bits of this so far.

It just felt a bit unfinished, so I hope you do a bit more!

Oh, there is more (the Doctor has something he needs to say, and that's just for starters); I just have to write it.

[2cbetter.livejournal.com]

Beautiful first chapter -- I cannot wait for more!

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

There will be more, I promise; soon, too, I hope.

[2cbetter.livejournal.com]

I'll look forward to it!

[lostwolfchats.livejournal.com]

Lovely - please most more soon!

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

I'll do my best :)

[io-aenaria.livejournal.com]

Excellent writing. :) The first part was an absolute balm to my soul (as cornball as it sounds, that's the best way I can describe that first part, lovely and soothing and hopeful). And then in the last paragraph you twist it around and I find myself crossing my arms over my chest, tapping my foot, and glaring at the Doctor with Rose. The boy's got some explaining to do, doesn't he? I can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks for the read. :)

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

The boy's got some explaining to do, doesn't he?

Just a little, aye; I still can't quite make up my mind whether to have him tell her about Jack, which is why the next part has been so slow in coming (but it is coming, that much I can promise).

[shootingstars88.livejournal.com]

“I rather think,” the Doctor said, in that nonchalant way of his that had been one of the things that she had missed most about him, “that this dance is mine. Don't you, Rose Tyler?”

Throughout this fic, but most powerfully in that line, I felt like I could literally hear the words being spoken. Absolutely true to character and a great read. I love the way it switches round at the end from being the lovely happy reunion we all want into the realistic what happens next moment. Looking forward to more.

One quick thing - I noticed a tiny typo in the first paragraph:
When the Doctor finally came back, proving yet again in that irrepressible way of his way of his that for him the impossible rarely held fast or held true, he saw her before she saw him.
Way of his is repeated twice. Didn't put me off but I thought you'd want it pointed out.

Thanks for a great read :)

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

I love the way it switches round at the end from being the lovely happy reunion we all want into the realistic what happens next moment.

The next part won't be too angsty, I promise (maybe not all that fluffy, but definitely not too angsty, either.)

Thanks for pointing out the typo, too; I'll get that fixed toute suite.

[shootingstars88.livejournal.com]

The next part won't be too angsty, I promise (maybe not all that fluffy, but definitely not too angsty, either.)
Either way I'm sure it'll be brilliant. Looking forward to reading :)

[requialexa.livejournal.com]

Oh--much better than running and jumping into his arms! I am so glad you found a way to get them together after all :-D

I love it. I don't really understand Rose's anger, but I love it! So thoughtful and romantic :-D

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

Oh--much better than running and jumping into his arms! I am so glad you found a way to get them together after all :-D

I think I might leave the running-and-jumping business to the Alice!verse reunion (and you know there'll be one there eventually!)

I love it. I don't really understand Rose's anger, but I love it! So thoughtful and romantic :-D

She's not angry, exactly; she's over-wrought, and emotional, and emotion can often come across as anger when it's really anything but.

[torn-eledhwen.livejournal.com]

But it's a nice blue suit! I like it, anyway. :)

Good start, rather moving.

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

But it's a nice blue suit! I like it, anyway. :)

I can't bear it; I think if that isn't obvious it will be before this fic is done ;)

Good start, rather moving.

Thanks!

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

Yay! I love how you've started this. Realistic that Rose would think she'd lost it - and then start to get emotional when she realized she hadn't.

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

Realistic that Rose would think she'd lost it - and then start to get emotional when she realized she hadn't.

It's more than likely that she'll have hallucinated seeing the Doctor come back for her, isn't it?

He'll help heal her, she'll help heal him ... what's not to love?

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

I loved the realism of their reunion - reunion!fic, for all my passionate love of the genre, often seems to jump past emotions that don't have to do with the Doctor and Rose snogging.

Oh, there will be snogging, you can count on that (but yes, I take the point).

That Rose isn't about to just become complacent and "Oh-the-Doctor's-back-everything's-fixed" is excellent.

Of course everything's not fixed just 'cause he's back - I'd say he's caused another set of problems just by showing up!

But Rose! What a harsh opinion of the Doctor's new suit! :D (I quite liked it). Though I'd imagine that the fact that it's not the suit SHE remembers makes her biases.

I don't like that suit one bit (you can't tell, can ya? ;) )

[lucythestrange.livejournal.com]

I love it :) can´t wait to read part 2 ^^

[rjrog77.livejournal.com]

I love it :)

Thank you :D

can´t wait to read part 2 ^^

Here (http://lived-in-hope.livejournal.com/22323.html) you go!