Le Chevalier Mal Fait

[preserved_ginger]

Title: Le Chevalier Mal Fait
Author: lived_in_hope
Character(s), in order of appearance: Ten (references to Rose, Davros and Ten II)
Pairing(s): Ten/Rose
Rating: PG
Summary: He’d known what he was going to do from the very first moment he set eyes on him.
Disclaimer: Not Mine.
Spoilers: Journey’s End
A/N: I’ve borrowed a bit of imagery from The Once And Future King by T. H. White (fantastic book, can’t recommend it highly enough) equating the Doctor in his current incarnation with Lancelot du Lac: the original Chevalier Mal Fait (the Ill-Made Knight). Canon-compliant, regrettably, by definition.

He’d known what he was going to do from the first moment he set eyes on that duplicate self of his. It was going to hurt, yes – probably more than anything had ever hurt – but if it meant that Rose would be safe …

Oh, who was he trying to fool? It hadn’t been his keeping her safe that had been the attraction. It was how he’d finally managed to figure out how to give her what they both wanted whilst at the same time making sure that Davros’ accusations, still ringing in his ears, could never become a reality with her.

He hated himself, had done since the nightmare of the Time War and the loss of Gallifrey; people who came across him tended to be the worse for the experience. And he couldn’t bear it if the woman he adored became another casualty. He was Time’s Champion, a theoretical knight in shining armour for the universe; meant to show that might isn’t always right and that there’s always a better way.

So he manipulated the love of his life – and oh how she is, still – into staying in that parallel universe he’d lost her to so long ago, and left the duplicate of himself with her. Used the fact that he said to her what he’d always wanted to say but didn’t dare commit to, the fact that she was kissing him – and therefore, in his mind, had made the decision to stay with him – to make a break for the TARDIS and leave before he could let her change his mind.

She’d almost managed it; it was a closer call than he was happy with. But he got away and left her behind, the sort of thing an ill-made knight like him would do.

But it’s better that way. Better that way than having to watch her wither and die; better that way than watching her die on some alien planet a thousand million miles from home because he couldn’t get there in time to save her. Better that way.

There was always a better way.

And one day, when he can bear to even think her name without the pain and the tears and the all-encompassing guilt crashing down around him?

He might, just might, start believing it.

Comments

[effulgent-girl.livejournal.com]

So, so sad. *goes off to read happy fic now*

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

So, so sad.

Yeah, I know :(

*goes off to read happy fic now*

If you find new happy fic with Ten proper in it let me know, yeah? I could use some myself.

[effulgent-girl.livejournal.com]

humansrsuperior has a new fic called A Bit Western. Ish. (http://humansrsuperior.livejournal.com/80704.html) where Ten and Rose are in the Wild West and so far, it's very amusing. Just the idea alone of Ten in a cowboy hat is amusing me:)

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

I’ll give that a go. Cheers for the rec!

[abbeylovely.livejournal.com]

Amazing... simply amazing. I LOVED the reference to The Once and Future King...
This made me cry a little. :(

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

Amazing... simply amazing. I LOVED the reference to The Once and Future King...

TOAFK is probably my favourite Arthurian book ever. And the Ill-Made Knight analogy seems to fit Ten so well it’s almost as if it were made for him (which, although the Doctor is allegedly Merlin (at least according to Old School canon), is probably true).

This made me cry a little. :(

*HUGS* Yeah, it pretty much had that effect on me when I was writing it.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

Oh Doctor :(

There was always a better way
I think he's been struggling with this for a long time, certainly since the Time War and most definitely (with regards to Rose) since 'Doomsday'
I worry that this latest decision may have been too much for him

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

Oh Doctor :(

Yeah. *huggles him*

I seem to be stuck with writing psychological stuff for him right now, going into the rationale for what he did, and I half wish I could just go back to writing Season Two fluff.

I think he's been struggling with this for a long time, certainly since the Time War and most definitely (with regards to Rose) since 'Doomsday'

Yup. It might have a bearing on why he didn’t seem to try awfully hard to find a way back to her (not in canon, at any rate).

I worry that this latest decision may have been too much for him

You and me both.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

I think a sojourn into Season Two fluff might be a nice break for you :)

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

I’d agree, if the plot-bunnies I had didn’t all seem to centre round Ten proper post-JE.

Don’t suppose you could supply me a fluff-bunny at all?

[helygen.livejournal.com]

Think happy-season-two (pre-Doomsday) thoughts ;)

[wild-sibyl.livejournal.com]

oh whats really strange is that i'm currently reading 'the once and future king' and i've been thinking all day about the similarites between the doctor and lancelot... and then i came here and saw this and i'm a litte bit blown away. i'm going to add you as a friend if you don't mind.

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

The Doctor and Lancelot are worryingly similar in The Once And Future King, aren’t they? And new friends are always good :)

[bananasandroses.livejournal.com]

Thank you!